endings have been on my mind a lot. everything from the endings of television shows and books series to the end of seasons of life and even the end of life itself.
the end of something is just as important as the beginning. its in the end that you can see how well you walked through the past season. you can see the mistakes you make and the things you did right, the good attitudes you had and the bad.
recently my best friend's granddad passed away and it brought back all the memories of my own granddaddy and his death back in december. life is such a odd thing when you think of it - it can be taken away in a second, but it can also hang around and let you get to be old and gray with years and years of experiences behind you. young people die, old people die. in the end its more about how you lived your life and what is important to you rather than the experiences you've had or the length of your life.
on the flipside my friend mindy is having a baby - new life. this is an exciting time and i am thrilled for her. with this comes the start of a new season - mindy with kids. the season of her being single, then her just newly married is now passed. we're all growing up. what will i be able to say about my life when i look back - both at each end of the seasons of my life and ultimately at the very end? i hope i'll be able to say i made the most of each. that i rejoiced in the season the Lord had me and that i lived each day for him, finding joy in the little things. i don't want to look back on each season as i pass into a new one, sad that i wasted the one i was in because i was so eager to get to the next one.
the older i get the more i realize how fast life goes by. when i was in high school i just wanted to be graduated. when i was younger i just wanted to be married or to have a boyfriend. now i realize just how quickly it all passes by and in some way how unimportant my wishes and desires of the moment are. God is working his plan in me and it will be the best plan, regardless of what my feelings tell me at the moment. knowing that God is in control and that all the things you desire aren't really that important in the scope of life gives you perspective to live without worry or fear. sure - i want to have desires and dreams. i want to accomplish some of them and i can work towards that. but at the same time i don't have to worry about this or that - will i get married, will i have kids, what will i do for a career - because in the end my life is going to go the way it goes and the main purpose of my life is to find what the Lord has for me in each circumstance, even if its contrary to what i thought i wanted for these years.
this is what i remind myself of. somedays i believe it more than others - but it is always true. trusting God and being joyful in your circumstances is always the best way to live. that way when i pass into the next season of my life - whatever and whenever that may be - i can look back and though i won't have lived it perfectly, i can look back without regret having not wasted away the season by discontent or wishing for different circumstances. this is my goal.
on the lighter side of life, i have also been watching a lot of season finales on television and finishing good books.
a while ago i started re-reading back through the harry potter series. i can't remember if this was my 2nd or 3rd time through, but i enjoyed it just as much, if not more, than the first time. i kind of dropped off around book 5 but picked book 6 back up and re-started the reading of them a few weeks ago. i finished harry potter and the deathly hallows (the final one) a couple days ago. man i cried all through the last two books. haha. i always do. {spoiler...} dumbledore dies, dobby dies, fred dies.. and various others. i literally have to read them with a box of tissues (which i did). i love a story that can get me so involved - especially a series of books since having such a long expanse to tell a story gives you more detail and more time to get attached to the characters. after finishing the last book i was so sad it was over, i almost wanted to start reading them again. i am more eager than ever for the last harry potter movie to come out.
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| i love these three. |
last night was the season finale of bones which was very good. angela had her baby over which i cried my eyes out. the older i get the more special having a baby seems to me... even if its just a fictional character i like on screen. i can't imagine what its going to be like when mindy's having her baby! gah i can't wait. anyways... angela had her baby and then {spoiler...} shocker! bones revealed at the last part of the show that she was pregnant and the booth is the father. awesome! i can't wait for next season.
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| i also love them. |
there are several more season finales coming up - GLEE on tuesday, but more importantly - the american idol finale is on tuesday as well!! i haven't watched american idol in years, but i watched this season with mom and dad. it was pretty good. one of my favorites, haley, went home last night, but i'm still pleased with who is in the finale. and now i don't have to wonder who i'll vote for. SCOTTTTTTY!!!! :)
i'm sad all my normal shows won't be around in the summer, but thursday brings a wonderful beginning - so you think you can dance. favorite show of the summer. so excited for this. i adore this show. and mary murphy is back as a judge this season. yesssss! she is sometimes so annoying, but i really missed her last season. she's like the paula of sytycd.
as a closing note, the count of monte cristo finally arrived and i am eager to start it! i'll let you know how it like it. hope you all have a wonderful friday! a few short work hours and then its the weekend! hurray! :)
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